Here is part 2 of 40 Things I learned in 40 days...
Number 21-30
21. If you decide you still want to eat all almonds all the time, here’s a helpful suggestion: get them at Sam’s Club.
They have the best deal on almonds and…unfortunately for me, the bag seems bottomless. It seriously lasts for forever. (see #12)
22. Eating healthy can be costly, but the cost of NOT eating healthy is much greater.
And someday, when you are desperate for health, you will not be able to buy it. So, invest now in health so that the quality of your life will be high throughout your life, not just when you are desperate for it.
23. Chia, Flaxseed, Coconut Oil, and Almond Milk seem to be all the rage these days when it comes to nutrition.
I’m not a dietician, but I’ve noticed that everyone I met who is serious about health and nutrition are talking about these foods. So I’m thinking it’s probably time to include these things in my diet. 24. Del Taco.
I had never been to this fast food taco joint prior to this trip. Frankly, I will be fine if I never went again. If there is any question about why this franchise isn’t sweeping the nation with new stores, let me just tell you: it may have something to do with their “2 tacos for 99 cent” deal that contains lower grade “meat” than Taco Bell. (I didn’t know that was possible.)
25. If you have to get stuck for seven days while you’re car is being fixed…Colorado’s not a bad place to do it!
26. Never withhold forgiveness.Never.
Don’t withhold forgiveness because you think it will give you leverage. There is nothing good that comes out of this. In fact, it usually creates bitterness. You don’t forgive someone because they deserve to be forgiven. You forgive someone because you believe in grace.
27. Omaha has a 2% entertainment tax that is charged on any “entertainment” purchase within the city limits, which includes any meal ordered from a restaurant.
If you are like me, and find yourself immediately excited about the idea of this money being invested back into arts and entertainment industry within Omaha, don’t be. It has nothing to do with arts and entertainment being improved or invested in. It’s just a “bonus” tax.
28. True resting comes out of true trusting.
Resting is more than a nap. You may be getting enough sleep but still feel tired. This is because rest comes out of a place of trusting. When we believe the promises that God has promised us…and really TRUST this, our soul begins to find rest, physically and emotionally.
29. I think Heaven may look a lot like Santa Barbara, California.
30. The Lord, the giver of our kingdom dreams, loves it when we are willing to give our dreams back to Him as an act of surrender.
He loves when we take our dreams and put them back at His feet and in doing so, submitting to Him and acknowledging that He is the Giver of every good thing. That’s when we know that nothing, even our dreams, are as important as he is.
I have created a list of 40 things I learned in 40 days of being on the Dream Tour. Here is the first installment of the first 20.
1. Clean rest stops are good for the soul of a weary traveler.
2. A good night’s sleep is more precious than gold.
Everything is better when you are well rested; your attitude, your outlook, the way you treat others is better. You can offer the best version of yourself to the world.
3. A lack of sleep is a ministry killer.
When don’t get the sleep your body needs, it not only affects you. You can miss opportunities to bring Kingdom to your community and those around you.
4. Mountain regions that are flat on top and look like a table top are called “mesas” because the Spanish word for table is mesa.
5. Everyone in life needs space.
Introvert or extravert, we all need space. We need space to decompress, to reflect, to create, and to just be. There is something incredibly freeing about having a sanctuary of space.
6. AAA is worth the money.
If being broken down on the side of the road for 3 hours while having to go to the bathroom is exciting for you, then….don’t spend the money. But, if you want assistance in a timely manner, then I recommend purchasing the coverage. After being on this trip, I will be investing in AAA.
7. Starbucks is a playground for ministry.
Be open and prepared to minister, whenever, wherever…you may just be surprised by how the Lord brings a kingdom connection. It could be at the Starbucks near you.
8. Hospitality is an attitude.
It has little to do with how large your home is, how luxurious your guest bedroom is, or whether you can cook a gourmet meal. Instead it has everything to do with how you offer what you have. Hospitality is not limited to how you treat people in your home: it’s an attitude you bring with you everywhere you go.
Hospitality is an attitude of grace that chooses to radically bless and radically love because you know what it means to be radically blessed and radically loved. Hospitality creates a space, wherever you are, for a person to feel loved and cared for, whether that is a complete stranger or a life long friend.
9. Your trip to the west coast is incomplete until you have been to In-N-Out Burger.
10. College students are in a perfect place in their life to dream big.
I’ve noticed that college students, more than anyone else, have a strong faith in their dreams. They are not jaded by failure yet. They don’t feel limited. The sky is the limit. They are in a setting where they are told, “you absolutely can” more times than not.
I believe, that if this generation starts believing in their dream, working towards it and doesn’t stop until it comes to fruition, we will have a whole new generation of bold dreamers who will advocate for the next generation of dreamers.
College students really will change the world.
11. Freedom is something you have to fight for.
If you want freedom you have to choose it. It’s yours in Christ but you have to renew your minds to it every day. You have to intentionally fight for it. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. If you don’t know how to fight for it, ask someone who does. Have them walk with you, fight for you, and teach you. It is worth every effort you put forth.
12. Know this: just because almonds are good for you, does not mean that you can eat as many as you want.
13. Self-condemnation is not attractive. It really isn’t.
And being hard on yourself does not actually make you stronger. You may think that telling yourself, “I am not enough” is a great way to motivate yourself to do greater things, but that’s just warped thinking.
How do I know this? Because this was exactly how I thought before I came on the Dream Tour. Now I understand what it means to take every thought captive: repenting from self-condemning thoughts, rebuking the enemy in his lies, receiving forgiveness, and replacing the lies with truth. Is it helping me find my true identity in Christ.
14. Love IS the greatest motivator.
It trumps self condemnation, self hatred, guilt, and everything else. The Beatles were on to something when they said, “All you need is love.”
15. If you are stuck spiritually – start giving thanks.
Something changes in the spiritual realm when we give thanks. The enemy hates it when he hears us giving thanks. I think, in fact, it might just terrify him.
Now, I am not saying that if you give thanks then Jesus will give you exactly what you want. He’s not a genie in a bottle, and there is no magic formula. I am saying I’ve noticed when people who are desperate for Jesus start giving thanks, things start to move. Something shifts. A spirit of gratefulness changes things.
16. If you want to exfoliate your skin, consider standing in a windstorm of 50-60mph.
Your skin won’t regret it. However, the rest of your body might. If you don’t know where to find one, check out Moab, Utah.
17. Confession creates a way for healing to be ushered in.
18. If you have been searching your whole life for some fried pie, just get off exit 123 on Highway I-40 near Oklahoma City.
You can’t miss the 37 signs leading up to the exit.
19. Anything seems possible when you have a great group of prayer warriors on your side.
Every joy and every sorrow seems to have greater depth when you surround yourself with a community that prays together.
20. Adrenal glands help regulate the hormones that are sent out in your body to help regulate stress.
Before the tour, I knew nothing about them. Also, did you know that if you are under constant stress, you can wear out your adrenal glands? Did you know that very organ that is created to regulate stress in your body can actually become too stressed out to function if you don’t manage external stress well in your life?
So, if you aren’t managing stress well, now is a good time to start!
I was 14 years old the first time I considered going to Haiti. My parents had been doing mission work there on a regular basis for several years at this point when I was presented with the opportunity to go with my dad. I was so excited to go, as I knew it had impacted them so greatly, but as we further pursued the possibility, we realized that I would not be able to go during the planned trip because I was not going to be able to receive my passport in time. I was a bit disappointed to say the least.
Over the next few years, Haiti remained on my heart. My desire to serve in Haiti was fairly constant, but there seemed to be many things over the years that kept me from going. (Scheduling conflicts, Political disrest in the country, etc.) Eventually another 14 years had passed. I was 28 years old.
And then the earthquake struck.
On January 12, 2010 a catastrophic earthquake hit the nation of Haiti causing athe estimated death of 316,000 people.
It was a moment in history I will not forget. Immediately I thought, why haven’t I gone to Haiti already? And then my next question, why am I not going to Haiti right now?!?
I was glued to the television the same way I was on September 11th when the twin towers were hit. But there something completely different about September 11th and January 10th. When the twin towers were hit, I did not feel a sense that I could help. I did not feel sense that I could make a difference. With Haiti, I did.
When the earthquake hit Haiti that day in January, I immediately felt like I needed to do something. I called my boss to ask, “If I could get into Haiti, would it be possible for me to have a few days off of work?” He agreed.
But as many of you realize now, it wasn’t that easy to just get in the country in those first few days, or even weeks. The country just did not have the infrastructure in place to organize or transport volunteers. In the first few weeks only those who were trained medically or those who worked on Obama’s relief team were being allowed in. And so, I found myself willing to go…but not having the opportunity to get in. By the time that the country was able to get some infrastructure in place, he opportunity had passed for me to be able to take time off of work. So, my hope to go to Haiti to serve in Haiti was delayed again.
Then, in the fall of 2011, I moved to Montreat, North Carolina. I became the Director of Service at Montreat College and this meant that I would oversee the spring break missions program. So, naturally, I decided, we should go to Haiti. Finally, I was going to go. I began to make plans to partner with Adventures in Missions, and the majority of the plans were in place, when the the cholera outbreak in Haiti occurred. Montreat’s student insurance coverage would not cover their students if we went into Haiti because Haiti was on the CDC’s list of countries to not enter. So, we changed all our plans in the next few weeks, and we went to Jamaica. Again, the opportunity to go to Haiti…delayed.
Then, in May of 2011, I was invited to be an intern in Haiti for 10 weeks, serving with Adventures in Missions. I was incredibly excited about this opportunity. The only thing at this point that was going to conflict with me going, was if I was offered a full time job working with AIM, in which case I would have to choose one of the options. Sure enough, I was offered a job. I felt torn between Haiti and the full time job, and I needed to make a decision quickly. I did not know if there was right or a wrong answer, but all I knew wat that I wanted to do what the Lord wanted me to do….and being that I didn’t know what that was, I decided I needed to “throw out a fleece.”
I prayed about it, and thought, “Is it really OK to throw out a fleece?” I sure don’t how this works, but I know that I am desperate and I know that I need to make a decision fast.
So, I prayed, “Lord, if I am suppose to throw out a fleece, what should it be? How do I go about this?”
Almost immediately, I knew that I was suppose to ask God to I do something to the weather as a sign.
Originally, I thought, “Oh…I know what I will pray: I will pray that when I wake up in the morning, it will be raining. If it’s raining in the morning when I wake up, I will know that I am suppose to go to Haiti!” I figured that’s fair, the weather has been incredibly nice all week. It would definitely be a shift in the weather if the Lord made it rain.
But…the more I thought about it, the more I thought…that’s still too normal. Sometimes you just have random rain storms. So…I needed to have something that will definitely make it clear. Something abnormal. Something that I would not question was an act of God, him intervening on my behalf to speak.
So, I prayed, “Lord, this is crazy, but if you want me to go to Haiti, I need to wake up tomorrow morning, open the blinds by my bedside, and see that it’s snowing. It’s been 65 degrees all week, but if you want me to know that I am suppose to go to Haiti then let the mountain be covered with an inch of snow.” I went to bed, waiting for whatever the Lord might want to tell me in the morning.
The next morning, I woke up and was nervous and excited to look out my window. I went to the blinds and tried to prepare for what I would see. I opened the blinds and saw in front of me a mountain covered with snow. My car had an inch of snow on it. I was stunned at first. Then, I was elated…and not just because I knew I was going to Haiti, but because I couldn’t believe that the Lord would do that for me. He would speak to me in a way I understood. After pacing around my apartment, while processing what happened, I decided to lay back down in my bed to just give thanks and ponder what I had just seen. And then… I woke up.
What I saw was just a dream. I had dreamt that I checked the window and it snowed. It was the last thing I dreamt before I actually woke up.
Unbelievable. It meant that I had to check the window again. Again, I went to the blinds and tried to prepare my heart for what I would see. I opened the blinds, and this time it was raining. Raining. Raining. Well that’s not snow! What was raining suppose to mean? And what about the dream I just had? Did that mean anything?
Now, I am sure that there’s probably a few ways to interpret this whole situation, but this is what I gathered: I saw it as a promise. I saw it as God hearing my prayer, responding to my prayer with affirmation, but also showing me that it was not something I would do right then. The fact that it was a dream, and not it reality, led me to believe that it was a promise that I would go to Haiti…but just not then.
I would go to Haiti, but it would be later.
And so, I took the full time job at Adventures in Missions.
As many of you know, I am still working at Adventures in Missions. I have been working here at AIM for eleven months now, and just recently have been given an amazing opportunity to go and serve in Haiti again. I am soooooo excited about this trip for many reasons. First and foremost, I would be able to serve in Haiti…something I have been hoping to do for 16 years now. Secondly, I would be able to serve as a support staff leader, learning from one of the best project leaders that AIM has to offer. And lastly, it seems like it is the perfect time to go (Work wise, it is one of the few times that it actually would work for me to step out of the office for a week ). All of the circumstances make it seem like this is the trip to Haiti that I should FINALLY go on. It seems like I keep waiting to go to Haiti, but this time I am really hoping that it becomes a reality.
However, there is one thing holding me back: I need $538.00 to be able to pay for a flight to Haiti. In some ways, I think, “Money?!? The only thing holding me back is money?!?!” But the reality is, if you don’t have the money, even the greatest opportunities sometimes have to be passed by. I was talking it over with a friend the other night, and facing the realization, “ I think I am going to have to turn down an amazing opportunity to serve in Haiti…AGAIN. I just cannot go if I don’t have the money raised ahead of time.”
So, as disheartening as that thought was for me, I was ready to make that decision if needed.
However in the last few days as I have been praying about it and I keep sensing that I am not suppose to just let this opportunity just pass me by yet. As I prayed, I felt like I am just suppose to get the word out there, and simply ask: would you be willing to pray with me in regard to this opportunity? Would you be interested in partnering with me financially in order that I might be able to serve in Haiti?
If you are interested in praying with me about this, would you email me (and just let me know that you are praying? Your prayers are such an encouragement to me and I just love to know who is out there praying and partnering with me. Also, if you would be interested in supporting me financially in getting to Haiti, I would love to know that as well. You can contact me at julieengelsman@adventures.org and let me know that you would like to support me, or you can simply go to the “support me!” link on the left hand side of this page.
It is my prayer and my hope that I would be able to purchase the flight in the next week and make final preparation, depending on whether or not I would be fully funded. Your prayers and support are so valuable to me!!! Thank you so much for all of your support in this journey!
I don’t know where to start telling you about this trip, and how it’s changing my life. I knew going into the Tour that the Lord had great things in store for me. I even had many people tell me before I left on the Tour that the Lord was going to be ministering to me more than I was going to be ministering to others, but I still had no way of understanding this.
What I can tell you now, assuredly, is that this trip is changing everything in my life. EVERYTHING. It is truly changing me. It’s only been a week, but I could tell you a dozen stories of not just other people’s lives being changed, but probably a dozen stories of how my life is being changed.
However, for the sake of keeping this blog from becoming a novel, I am going to just share one of the stories from early in the tour.
During the first 3 days of the tour we intended on being in Minneapolis. However, God hijacked this plan in a wonderful way (another story for another time)…and we ended up going to Kansas City. When arriving to Kansas City, someone I met shared with me, “Do not question why the Lord rerouted your trip. This stop in Kansas City is going to have a greater impact on your trip than you can understand right now. It is not an accident. It was important that you came to Kansas City first.”
Some powerful truth there. God is still unfolding all the reasons as to why this is true. However, one story in particular comes to mind that reminds me of why Kansas City was important.
Kansas City is home to the International House of Prayer Missions Base. For many years now I have been hearing about some of the things happening at IHOP, and I wanted to visit. So my friend Molly, Heather, and I went during our visit. Within a few minutes of walking in, we all found ourselves talking to a man named Philip who worked at the front desk, or information center. I went to the front desk to simply ask a question, but instead Phillip instantly had something to TELL ME.
Our conversation went like this:
Phillip: “What is your name?”
Me: “Julie.”
Phillip: “Nice to meet you Julie. What’s your middle name?”
I began thinking, this is an unusual introduction, but continued answering, “My middle name is Ann.”
Phillip: “Ann without an ‘e’?”
Me: “Yep. No “e” here.”
He then looked at me closer and said, “When is your birthday?”
I had no idea why this man was asking me all this, but I felt I should answer, “July 15, 1981.”
He then looked at me intently and said, “That was an important day.”
Some may have thought this conversation with Phillip was strange, but something in his eyes reminded me of Jesus. And he again, he reinforced, “That was a really important day. The day you were born was significant.”
I nearly started to cry. I am not a crier.
He then asked me, “Do you mind me asking, how old will you be on your birthday?”
I told him, “31.”
And then he said, “I don’t usually ask people their age or their birthday, but I felt it was important that I ask. By your next birthday, you will enter into a new life. It will be the beginning of a new decade. The Lord is bringing you into a new season.”
Phillip then asked me, “You know how a farmer likes to plant his paths in straight rows?”
I said yes.
“Your path in life has not been a bit windy, there have been some tough times, some hard blows and some tough bumps…but the Lord was always there. And, he is going to use it all. It will not be wasted. He will USE IT ALL. Your path is about to stop being windy and become straight. This new decade will be totally different than ever before. Your 31st birthday will be the beginning of this. It will be totally different than the past. And, Julie, you have been faithful. Even when the road was windy and hard, you have been faithful. Thank you for being faithful.” He pauses. “And Julie, God trusts you.” He leaned in further. “He really, really trusts you. You have been faithful and He trusts you.”
Again, emotion is welling up. Phillip had no idea what saying that meant to me.
I said to Phillip, “Phillip, you don’t know this, but on my 30th birthday I was looking at my life and reflecting on the past 30 years, and I didn’t really like what I saw, where I was at, and how uncertain I was of where I was headed. I wondered if I had wasted the last few years. I was trying to be faithful to God, but I wasn’t sure if I was really headed towards any one clear calling. There wasn’t a straight path ahead of me. I told my friend all of these things on my 30th birthday, and I DECLARED that by my 31st birthday I needed everything to be different. I told my friend boldly, “I need to know where I am headed by then time I am 31. I don’t have to know the whole plan, but I need to be on a straighter path towards whatever it is that God has for me. So, Phillip, you didn’t know any of that, but I believe that hearing what you told me just confirms for me that God did hear my prayer. He knew my heart and I had almost forgot about what I had said on my 30th birthday. Thank you Phillip for sharing that. It’s exactly what I needed to hear. “
I realized in that moment, if I hadn’t gone to Kansas City, I would have never met Phillip, among many other things that God did that weekend in Kansas City. And all because God re-routed our plans.
I am beginning to believe that if God hi-jacks my plans again, I will gladly let Him. Clearly, His ways are far better than my ways. His plans are far greater than my plans.
I needed to go to the laundromat. The women’s community house still needed a washer and dryer, so the plan for Saturday was a simple one: relax,and then at some point, go to the laundromat. My roommate Erin and I loaded up her vehicle with laundry and headed out. We didn’t get too far down the road when I noticed a garage sale sign. Lately, garage sales are something that we have a special radar for. We have been searching for a good deal on a washer and dryer, a dining room table, and a lawn mower for a while now and are developing a special ability to find those deeply hidden garage sales that seem to be tucked in the back of the suburbs or at the end of long dirt roads.
.
From the road, this sale didn’t look like anything special, but we decided to stop anyway. We got out, looked over the goods fairly quickly, and were ready to return to the car when the man hosting the garage sale asked “Is there anything that you girls are looking for?”
I don’t know how many times I have been asked this question in my life, but I know that more often than not, I respond with “I am just looking.” It seems this phrase has become a nicety that Ilearned to say over the years. I came to believe if you told someone you were looking for something that they were not selling, then pointing out that they didn't have it was somehow rude. It’s rude to ask for something that you think can’t be offered, right? Lately, however I’vebeen learning that this is not completely true. I’m learning that you can’t make the assumption that just because you can't see it, doesn’t mean it’s not available. And I am learning that it's not rude to let your needs be known. But it can be a bit uncomfortable.
And this lesson is not just for garage sales, it's something that I am learning as I raise support as well: If you don’t let people know your need, they can’t meet your need. People can’t helpyou in the areas you need help if they are unaware. This is a hard lesson for me as I generally don’t like asking for help and that those who regularly asked for help with their needs, were rightfully described as being “needy.” I am learning,we are all needy. As the Body of Christ, it was intended that we would depend on one another.
The Lord is teaching me, in all kinds of ways, to be bold about letting my needs be known.
I have been learning from a friend of mine at AIM that when you keep your walls up and don’t invite others into the areas where you need help, you might actually be robbing them of the joy of ministering to you. This is mind blowing to me, as I am generally not trying to create opportunities for others to minister to me, but then I realize, if it’s a JOY for me to serve others, would it not be a joy for them to be able to minister to me? It would not be fair to rob them of this joy.
I am learning a lot about letting my needs be known. So, when this man asked me “Is there anything that you are looking for?” this time I said, “Yes. I am actually looking for a dining room table. I don’t seem to see one here though.”
In the back of my mind I thought, “Was that incredibly rude? They clearly don’t have one. I just pointed out that they don’t have what I am looking for.”
At that moment, there was a woman standing there at the sale, who seemed to be a friend of the owner. She was looking over the table of knick-knacks and turned to me to say, in a beautiful southern accent, “oh, you are looking for an eatin’ table?”
Well, yes, you might say that. “Yes, I am looking for a table to eat at.”
She then said, “I know that we don’t have any here, but just down the road a few miles, on this same road, there’s another sale. They are probably selling half a dozen eatin’ tables there.”
She told us it was just down the road, in the opposite direction of town. We would never have seen the garage sale with the “eatin’” tables had I not mentioned what I was looking for. We would still be having community dinner sitting in a circle on the hardwood floor. But instead, letting others in and letting them know what we were looking for helped us find exactly what we needed.
What about yourself? Is there anythingyou need? Have you let others people know? Why or why not? What keeps you from asking or letting others know?
For me, I often struggle with asking for people for financial support in my ministry. I don’t want to be needy. I don’t want to be a burden. And sometimes I feel unworthy.
But all of these things are lies. Fear keeps us from boldly asking for help. And this doesn't apply just to asking for help from others. We sometimes don't let God in either. We won't let Him take care of our needs because we believe we have everything in control. He tells us however, "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Is there anything you need to boldy ask God?
It's my hope that if you have a need in your life that you would let it be known. I pray that you have the confidence and the boldness to ask. Believe it or not, there might be someone who is waiting to help. Don't steal that joy from them.
Two weeks from today, I will fly to Minneapolis to head out with a small team of people on the Kingdom Dreams College Tour. Our team's goal for this tour is to empower and encourage college students in the calling that God has for their life. We want to hear students' stories and pray for them. We want to help coach students in the discovery and exploration of their calling (or dream). And we want to help provide students with resources that might be able to help them keep moving forward in their passion.
I could not be more excited about this adventure, and seeing this generation of college students rise up to do what they are called to do.
I would love it if you would join me in praying for the tour during the last two weeks of preparation, and also during our trip.
Here is the schedule of where we are headed:
March 23 and 24: Teri and Julie- Dream Tour participants, Team Building with team in Minneapolis
March 25: Minneapolis: Team Launch/ Meeting with college group in evening in Minneapolis
March 26-28: Minneapolis: Meeting with students from Young Life College and students at Bethel College
March 28-30: Orange City, IA: Meeting with students at Northwestern College
March 30th-April 1st: Omaha
April 1-4: Denver
April 5-7: Colorado Springs
April 8: Easter
April 9 and 10: Travel
April 11& 12: Las Vegas
April 13-15: Santa Barbara, CA: Westmont College
April 16-18: La Mirada, CA: Biola University
April 18: Camp
April 19-21: Fresno, CA: Fresno Pacific University
April 22: Travel
April 23 & 24: Oklahoma City, OK: Church College Ministry
April 25 & 26: Kansas City, KS: IHOP
April 27: Travel and Debriefing
We have the majority of our stops firmly nailed down, but there are still a few locations that we need to finalize plans. So, if you would pray that the last minute details come together well, and that the funds come in, I would so greatly appreciate it!
Last week I mentioned that I am in a new position at AIM and that part of my job is to serve as the " In House representative" for the Kingdom Dreams Tour. This means that I work in the office to help with logistics, setting up accomodations, and supporting the traveling team. Well, this week I am very excited to be leaving the "House," meaning AIM headquarters, to actually go be with the team! I will be flying to Florida tomorrow to join the team and offer encouragement, and minister alongside them. I could not be more excited! We will be traveling throughout different parts of Florida this week, speaking with college groups, youth groups, families, and indivuals. Our goal: to awaken the Church to the realization that God has a dream for their life!!! We will hear people's stories of what their dream is and help coach individuals to help them discover their dream. It's going to be a very full, and very busy week. I can't wait.
Something pretty interesting to know about the Tour: the Kingdom Dreams Tour team lives by the principles based out of Luke 10. They travel light, bringing nothing with them. They stay with other believers along the way, bless the house in which they stay. They pray for the healing of the sick. They speak peace to whomever they meet. They tell others 'The kingdom of God is near you." To live out the principles of Luke 10 is to live out faith.
And, needless to say, it's always an adventure. They are always depending on God. And God is always showing up.
So, when I go, I too will be living out Luke 10, and I could not be more excited!
So that's the plan for the future and this is where I too am asking the Lord to provide. My plan for tomorrow is to fly from Atlanta to Ft. Lauderdale. From there, I need to meet up with the team, 4 hours away. I needed to raise support to do this, so I started with nothing...and raised the money for the flight and the rental car. (I got a great deal when I booked them together, only $250 for flight and rental!) From there, I need to get to Brandon, FL...which is 4 hours away from Ft. Lauderdale. I have no $$$ for gas, but the team has assured me that if I can get to Brandon, they have been blessed with a donation, and they can help me with gas. If I am given a rental car that has a full tank of gas, than I should have no problem. However, if I don't...well...that's where it get's tricky (by tricky, I mean...exciting?!?) . That's where Luke 10 starts to come into play. I will have to have the Lord show up, or I am stuck in Ft. Lauderdale.
I told the Tour leader, "Well, I really want to be able to get to the speaking engagement that night, so I could just get gas, and put it on my credit card. Then you could just pay me back."
The team leader said, "No, no, no. We don't do credit cards. Remember, we are doing Luke 10."
Yes. I should have known. "I have got so far to go before I get this whole Luke 10 thing down," I kept thinking.
So, if I get there and my rental car has a full tank of gas, I will know that the Lord HAS provided. And if I get there and the gas tank is low...well, I guess that means the adventure will start immediately. Full Luke 10 immersion. And I will know that the Lord WILL provide.
I have a feeling this is going to be good.
Would love your prayers for this journey.
Also, I want to share another quick story...and this SHOULD give me full confidence that this is not going to be an issue...
3 weeks ago I was being quiet before the Lord, and I felt like the Lord was telling me to stop using my credit card. Now, I hate using my credit card to begin with. However, my support had been low and I was using it to buy groceries and put gas in my car because I didn't have enough money to swing things on my own. And here I was praying and the Lord said, "Stop using your credit card."
Being a bit rebellious, I said, "But Lord, what about my gas for my car? How will I get to and from work? I have an 1/8 of a tank and I NEED to get gas. "
It was as if the Lord chuckled when he said, "I told you to stop using your credit cards. Do you trust me to provide or would you rather continue in your own ways so that you can be in control? That's what you are doing, ya know? You are choosing to be dependent on yourself (or in control) instead of dependent on me. If you choose to pull into the gas station tonight and put gas in your car with a credit card, you are choosing control over me."
Oh wow. Ouch God.
So, I was scared out of my mind. Afraid that I would at some point be stranded on the side of the road. But, I also decided, that if I am going to be stranded on the side of the road, than maybe God has a plan for that too. So, I have given up on using my credit card to fill up my gas tank for the last three weeks. And let me tell you, it has not been easy.
And, does this mean that my gas light has come on 4 different times in the last 3 weeks and that I didn't know what was going to happen?
Yep.
But has God shown up for me every time?
Yep.
One day, while driving to visit my friend who lives about 15 minutes away, my gas light came on. My thought, was "well, 'E' actually means you have about one gallon left anyway. That gives me about 25 miles." So, I continued to my friends house, somewhat nervous about making it (or that I would make it, but not have money to return home.) However, when I went to visit that friend, she said, "A friend of mine just blessed me today by sending me a $100! Can I treat you to dinner?" I was pumped. I said yes. So, we got ready to go, and she said, "Well, who would like to drive?" I felt bad, she was paying for my dinner and I wanted to offer to drive. But I had to be honest, "Well, I would offer to drive, but my gas light just turned to "E" on the way here." Her response, "Oh, ok. I will drive. And here's $20.00 for gas. I was blessed today, so let me bless you."
Did God just do that? Yep.
3 or 4 days later, the old gas light came on again. And I wasn't sure what I was going to do. And that SAME day, someone asked me if I would be willing to cut their hair. I said yes. She asked me, "How much should I pay you?"
"Well, I said, how does a half tank of gas sound to you?" She agreed.
Did God just do that? Yep. He's faithful.
THEN 3 days later, I pulled into the parking lot of AIM, and my gas tank wasn't quite on "E," but it was teetering right above. At this point, I thought: God, how are you going to do this this time?
When I got out of work a little after 5 I walked to my car, opened my car door and say a bill that was near the floor. I thought, "oh, did I drop a dollar? I didn't think I had a dollar." I picked it up and was shocked to see it was a 20 dollar bill!!! My car door was locked but someone squeezed the bill past the seal around my car door, so it would be inside.
Did God just do that? Yep.
That night that I found the $20.00, a friend of mine and I were going to have dinner together. We were just going to make something for dinner, keeping things low budget. But I was feeling pretty excited because I had just found a 20 dollar bill. So, I decided that I would use part of it for gas, and I would use part of it to go out for dinner.
However, the next day, I felt terribly guilty. I knew that that money was for gas, and so I was began beating myself up about not using it all for gas. I thought to myself, the Lord provided this money, and now I have just stewarded it poorly. Later that afternoon, two friends of mine from out of town came to visit, and I shared with them how upset I was about this situation. They just sort of looked at each other and then laughed, as if I was being ignorant, and then said, "...but Julie, God is a God of grace! He understands that we screw up sometimes." I appreciated their kind words, but I thought, really, they are just trying to make me feel better. I rebutted with, "Yes, but He is the God of wise stewardship." The conversation continued, and we agreed that God was both the God of Grace and the God of Wise Stewarship. But I still felt like I was a bad steward.
And then, they looked up and chuckled. I asked them why they were laughing. They said, "Well this whole time you have been beating yourself up, and you are trying to figure out what to do...and you didn't know this, but The Lord told us to give you this money, even before we left home to visit you. They slid $40.00 across the table. "So, Julie...I think God is a god of Grace."
I was blown away. I filled up my gas tank... with the ENTIRE $40.00...this time, not splitting if for other things. And as I filled up my tank, I pondered just how gracious God really is.
Anyway, tomorrow I am headed to Florida, and I am super excited. And, I am not sure how I am going to have gas money to get from Ft. Lauderdale to Brandon...but I am pretty confident that God has it figured out. At this point, I should simply just be wondering, How WILL he do it.
I don't know, but I know it's going to be good.
Now, do I believe that I will miracalouly just be given the money? No, I don't believe that. But I do believe that He will provide. If I would get stuck on the side of the road, than maybe someone will stop and He will PROVIDE a ministry opportunity. Who knows. But I believe He will provide, and I believe, it's going to be good.
HAPPY NEW YEARS FRIENDS!
After being in Michigan for two weeks for Christmas, I have returned to Georgia, and I have jumped into a lot of exciting things happening here at AIM!
Right before leaving for Christmas I was asked by a friend of mine, who works for the Kingdom Dreams department at AIM, if I would be willing to be a coach for a small group of World Racers for an event called Project: Searchlight.
I realize, that if you are reading this and you don’t work at AIM, this probably doesn’t mean anything.
It is filled with AIM phrases and jargon that no one outside of AIM would ever use in a sentence. So, I want to briefly introduce you to the AIM programs that I mentioned above: Kingdom Dreams, The World Race, and Project: Searchlight.
Kingdom Dreamsis a program designed to help people identify a dream, or calling, that the Lord has for them, and take steps to see that dream/calling come into maturity. It is designed to help those who haven’t discovered their kingdom dream identify what that their dream may be. And it helps those who have identified their dream, develop steps that will help them move toward reaching their dream. Kingdom Dreams provides tools, resources, and coaching in order to help you flourish in the dream that the Lord has for you.
The World Raceis an 11-month mission trip designed for 21-35 year olds. The World Race participants travel to 11 different countries over 11 months, going to “serve the least of these” around the world. They leave their earthly possessions, and the traditional American lifestyle, in order to experience the nature of God’s kingdom while living and serving in community with others.
Project: Searchlightis a week-long workshop designed for those who have been on the WorldRace and have returned, not knowing exactly what to do with their life post-Race. Many Racersreturn to the US, after having spent a year overseas, living a very different way of life, and are confident that they want to continue living a radical Christ centered life, but are simply unsure where or how to best serve. Project: Searchlight is about helping these participants take practical steps towards the next thing that God has for them. Project: Searchlight provides teaching, training, and personal coaching in order to empower these young leaders to keep moving forward towards the dream that God has for their life.
Right before leaving for Christmas, a friend of mine, who works for the Kingdom Dreams department at AIM, asked me if I would be willing to be a coach for a small group of World Racers for Project: Searchlight. It would take place the 2nd week of January. I agreed to help, and let me tell you, what a privilege it was!
We had an incredible week!!! I was honored to be able to coach and walk alongside this group of World Racers…to hear their stories, help them process, help them identify their dreams, help them develop steps to move toward their dreams, and launch into amazing kingdom work. It brought ME so much life!
The first night I came home from coaching, I told my friend, “I know I am just volunteering to coach with Project: Searchlight, but I feel like this is what I was created to do! ”
Last Friday, I received a call, from the head of the Kingdom Dreams department, asking me if I would consider joining their team. To make it even better, my current supervisor, who I needed to seek permission from in order to change departments, not only gave me his blessing to do so, but said that that’s where he saw me moving the whole time. It was his also his desire for me to join Kingdom Dreams. Needless to say, I am incredibly excited!
I will be joining the Kingdom Dreams team, and I will be taking a few different responsibilities. First of all, I will be working to follow up with over 100 of the World Racers who participated in Project: Searchlight, providing care and support and continuing to help them move forward in pursuing their kingdom dream/calling. In addition to providing Project: Searchlight, Kingdom Dreams has a travelling team that travels the US, meeting with people to talk about their dreams, and offering workshops. I will be the Kingdom Dreams in-house liaison to offer support with logistics, setting up venues, and building a strong prayer team for them.
Being the Dreams Team In House representative is also a very natural fit: just this week I called to check in on the traveling team to simply see how they were doing, and was able to help them find someone to stay with during their travels in Florida. It was great to be able to help them, but looking at it now…it’s a wonderful when the things that naturally do \becomes your job. And lastly, in terms of my role, the Kingdom Dreams team has decided to start a new tour in April and May. This tour will be focused on college campuses! So, the KD team is going to have me traveling with the team during April and May, talking about Kingdom Dreams with college students… I don’t think this job could get any better!!!
To top it all off…
When I first moved to work at AIM in May, I had a desire to start a women’s community house in which young women who worked for AIM would be able to be discipled and live in community together. I wanted to have a house that was a place for not only for women to live in community, but also a place that offered radical hospitality to others. My only dilemma was that I just didn’t have what I needed to make this a reality: I needed to have a house (without having much money). I needed to have women to disciple. AND I needed these women to have a heart for discipleship, community, and hospitality. A lot to ask right? Not for God!
During Project: Searchlight many of the women that I was coaching came up to me and told me that they would be moving to Gainesville to take an apprenticeship with AIM, but they weren’t sure what to do about housing. They wanted to live in community and they also wanted to be mentored, and they were wondering if I might be willing to mentor them if they moved to Gainesville. So, I knew it was time to start looking for a house.
I looked at quite a few houses, but none of them seemed to be ideal. And yet, there was one house, less than a mile down the road from AIM’s headquarters that was “for rent” that I could not get out of my mind. I had even called about the house the week prior, just to see how much the rent was, and knew there was no way I could ever afford it. However, a week later, I called to see if I could meet with the property manager, just see the inside of the house. On my way there, I prayed that somehow, someway, that miraculously the owner would take a lower offer, even though he had said the number was firm. Well, it just so happened that at the SAME TIME I was driving and praying about the house, the owner of the house called the property manager and said, “I have changed my mind, I might be willing to come down in price.” So, I made a lower offer, the owner accepted, and as of March 1st we will be moving into this house! God is so good!
We currently have 5 of the 6 women needed to fill the house, so if you want to join me in praying for the house, and to find a 6th roommate, I would greatly appreciate it. Last time I sent a newsletter, I asked you to pray about my housing situation…and look what happened! Your prayers and financial support are truly making a difference! If you would be interested in partnering with me in prayer, I would love if you would pray for a) our community house, b) my new role at AIM, and my ministry there, and c) for monthly financial partners to join with me in this ministry. If you would be interested in partnering with me financially, there are two ways you can do so: 1) You can do so online: simply go to http://julieengelsman.myadventures.organd click on the “support me!” link on the left hand side. 2) You can mail your tax deductible gift to PO Box 534470, Atlanta, GA 30353. Please designate “Staff Support: Julie Engelsman” on your check.
Blessings to you in 2012,
Julie
I have shared with you a small glimpse of daily life here in Gainesville, but I want to be sure that I share this as well:
The last season of life has been pretty tough… and trust me, I would love to tell you that it’s been super easy, that my support has been coming in strong , and that I have found myself in the perfect job. …but that would not be true. The truth is I have I questioned a lot of things on this journey.
“Is this what I am really called to? Why isn’t the money coming in? How do I make this life in the cubicle seem more meaningful? Why do I feel so isolated? How do I walk in faith when I can’t see your provision? Why do I feel so exhausted from trying to perform? You’ve called me to a season of rest, but why do I feel like I am doing exactly the opposite? How do I walk in the freedom that You have for me, when I am constantly haunted by my debt? I know I am called to be doing this, but it sure does look irresponsible to choose this path when I can hardly pay my bills… will others think I am irresponsible or irrational? I want to be obedient God to what you have for me, but it’s not logical….Lord, what do I do?”
However, the hope is this…My circumstances do not determine my joy. The Lord is faithful despite my circumstances. He is good and loving, even when I don’t feel loved. AND He is TRUSTWORTHY…even when I am not completely trusting. So, despite all my questions and circumstances, I CHOOSE Him. I am choosing His plan for my life, even if it doesn’t make sense. Why? Because my circumstances cannot determine my joy.
And one part of this plan that seems to keep coming up is that no matter what I am doing for the organization, I have to stay connected to working with college students: They are a generation that is near and dear to my heart and I strongly believe that I must commit to seeing this generation rise up. I must commit to disciple and invest in them. They need to know that their identity is in Christ and they need to be able to walk in freedom. I have to be a part of mobilizing them and helping them discover the dream that God has for their life. I really believe that if this generation were able to discover the person that God created them to be that this would revolutionize this generation, and the generation after them, and the generation after them.
So, like I mentioned, I don’t have everything figured out, I don’t have the answers to all my questions that I previously stated, but I know what God has called me to, and I know where he called me to do this right now. And I desperately need people to partner with me financially and prayerfully. I need to raise $2500 a month, and I have 1/3of this raised. I need prayer. Right now, I could use prayer for 1) my financial partners who would partner with me monthly 2) a place to live (I have been living with friends for the last few weeks as I am still working to get my support up), and 3) prayer for the ministry that I will be doing as I work with college students.
If you would be interested in partnering with me, I would so greatly appreciate it! If you would like to partner with me in prayer, please let me know, and I would be glad to keep you regularly updated with prayer requests. If you would like to partner with me financially, there are two ways you can do so: 1) You can do so online: simply go to http://julieengelsman.myadventures.org and click on the “support me!” link on the left hand side. 2) You can mail your tax deductible gift to PO Box 534470, Atlanta, GA 30353. Please designate “Staff Support: Julie Engelsman” on your check.
Also, if you would be interested in visiting together, I will be in Michigan for December 18th through January 3rd and would love to get together with you! Please free to contact me by calling 616.821.5444 or emailing julieengelsman@adventures.org
Blessings,
Julie
I recently came across a story that I just can’t seem to get out of my head. This tale was a true story about a man who apparently was highly esteemed among 17th century writers. He was famous among his peers in the writing community. He was known during that time to be working on a literary masterpiece, and it was said that the world was waiting in great anticipation to see what this genius would write. Theologians and philosophers believed this man’s published masterpiece would inevitably be considered “the best book ever written” outside of Scripture. So, the man labored over his writing by studying, brainstorming new ideas, and choosing the best way to craft his story.
One day, unexpectedly the famous writer dies. And it isn’t long before his faithful followers want to read all that he has written. They knew that he had not completed his masterpiece, but they were hoping to glean whatever they could from this man’s wisdom by reading what he did get down on paper before he died. To their great surprise they discovered when looking through his work, that there was NOTHING ever written down for this masterpiece. NOTHING. The man spent years and years and years thinking and planning for how this masterpiece would come together, but nothing was captured on paper.
And THIS reminds me of similar story in which an artist worked faithfully for years on his own artistic masterpiece. When the artist died, the friends and family discovered that the masterpiece was a blank white canvas. The painter had painted many scenes over the course of his years on this large canvas, but in the end, he always white washed his painting over.
In both of these stories you find two hardworking and committed individuals who clearly had a gifting for something. They spent a significant amount of time investing in their area of expertise, and yet no one else was able to read it, see it, experience it, or share in the beauty that was created. You have to wonder why the author didn’t have ANYTHING written and why the artist didn’t have ANYTHING painted. Others were waiting on them. They simply wanted to get a glimpse of the process. They didn’t expect perfection when it was incomplete…but they expected the process to have value and be beautiful, even if it was incomplete.
I could be wrong, but I think when hearing these stories it’s so clear why the artist and the writer stopped… it was fear. They could not settle for anything less than perfection to be seen by anyone else. They didn’t want to be that vulnerable with their work. They feared that their “work in progress” would be evaluated too early, and that their work would be seen as lacking, and only they would know that they had better things to produce.
They knew of their own potential but were too afraid to share it.
And so, I keep wondering this: what are the things that we have to offer, but we refuse to share because we feel like we are lacking? What do we hold on to that we need to share (even if we don’t have it “just right”)? Is there anything beautiful that we can produce that we choose not to express, create, or share, because we believe more time and more effort will make it better?
And here’s the other thing: I think that the “unbeautiful” pieces of work…the things that had been unfinished… well, I imagine that they were still probably beautiful. They may have not been perfect, but it would have added beauty and richness to someone’s life. They didn’t need to be the best of the best for them to have beauty and value.
We HAVE to be OK with making mistakes. We HAVE to be willing to share our lives with others even if it seems to us “unfinished.” We HAVE to do this because what we think are our mistakes, may in fact be something beautiful that someone has been waiting their whole life to read, to experience, to understand, or to see.
It may seem silly or insignificant, but these stories made me think about blogging. For a long time I quit blogging because I didn’t think it was contributing much to the world. I wanted to be a great writer, but I knew that I was average. And I thought that maybe I just needed to master my craft a little longer, become a better writer, brush up on my grammar and writing style. I also kept thinking, “well, I don’t have anything quite profound enough to say yet.” I even have a friend who listens to my daily life stories and will often say to me, “Why don’t you blog about that? You need to write about that!” I always thought she overestimated my ability to think and create, but I am realizing, that even if she is… I need to be OK with trying this again…because maybe, just maybe, there’s something beautiful to come of this…
